Sunday, November 05, 2006

Reminiscing

Places David & I Had Sex:

-In a bathroom at a crowded party (with people lined up outside, waiting to use it)
-In the backseat of a friend’s car in the parking lot of a city nightclub
-In a grassy field behind an industrial park (we were nearly discovered when a group
of children rode their bicycles past us)
-On a darkened beach, the Atlantic Ocean crashing behind us
-In a cheap motel room off US 1
-In a dark corner of a deck at a nightclub overlooking a river, with fellow clubgoers all around us

David and I fucked in every position known to man; nothing was off-limits to us. Oral, anal, sixty-nine, vibrators, role-playing, dirty talking, spanking, bondage with silk scarves, body paints, edible underwear, all kinds of props and devices. One time, I let him shave me bare between my legs; I’ll never forget the look of intense concentration and arousal on his face as he carefully swept his razor over me. We did it all and relished every minute of it.

I’d wear all kinds of outrageous lingerie for him. Garter belts, fishnet stockings and ridiculously high heels. Crotchless panties. Lacy bras with cutouts around the nipple. A backless red lace teddy with a tiny g-string. At Christmas, a red velvet teddy with white fur trim and a Santa hat. David used to take Polaroid pictures of me in various stages of undress. His all-time favorite was a simple picture of me on his bed posing topless and wearing denim shorts, my hands cupped over my bare breasts, staring into the camera as he snapped the photo. He made me feel beautiful.

David was a masterful lover, considering his age—-he was just 21 when we started dating, and I was just 19. We were like children together, discovering each other’s bodies and pushing the limits of sexual exploration. But as dirty as our sex sometimes was, there was always an undercurrent of innocence to it. It’s hard to explain, but that’s truly how it was with him. He would often whisper the tenderest things in my ear as he entered me, saying how he loved to watch himself disappear into me. He was the first and only lover I’d had who maintained eye contact with me during sex.

Sometimes I felt like I would burst with love for him. Our lovemaking often brought me to tears. It was thrilling and addictive.

I cannot banish these thoughts from my mind when I look at him.

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