The Letter
I sent David my letter yesterday. This will be the last time I communicate with him until he starts his program again. Or rather, IF he starts his program again. That part isn't up to me.
I think this may hurt me more than it hurts him, but it is what it is, and this is how it has to be.
11/13/2006
David,
If I follow my gut instincts—and they’re usually pretty reliable—I suspect that you had a relapse on Friday night after you cashed your paycheck. That’s why you didn’t show up on Saturday and didn’t call me all weekend.
We’ve been friends for a very long time. I cherish you and our friendship so much, David, and I cannot sit by and watch you disrespect and abuse yourself. I love you way too much for that. And I will not allow you to disrespect and abuse me. By continuing to drink and use drugs, that’s exactly what you’re doing to both of us.
When you stood me up on Saturday morning, I felt used, disrespected, scared for you, and very, very sad. I cannot tolerate this type of treatment, and so our friendship can continue only if you get yourself into a recovery program.
Until I see you ACTIVELY seeking help to overcome this problem, I will assume that you have no interest in quitting. And if you have no interest in quitting, then I can only assume that you have no interest in alleviating the tension, frustration and pure hell that your alcohol and drug use is causing to EVERYONE in your life.
I'm not going to see you any more until you get help. Also, I'm going to ask that you don't call me again until you get help. If you choose alcohol and drugs over treatment and recovery, you can't be around me. I have already been affected by your alcohol and drug problem, and my own welfare is my first priority.
Bottom line: if you are not in active recovery, I cannot and will not be in your life, in any way at all, ever again. I realize that you are going to do what you’re going to do, and I have no control over it, but I need to take care of myself first.
I am not doing this out of anger, because I am not angry at you.
I am not doing this out of hate, because I don’t hate you.
I am doing this out of love. I hope you understand that.
Be well and realize that anything is possible.
I think this may hurt me more than it hurts him, but it is what it is, and this is how it has to be.
11/13/2006
David,
If I follow my gut instincts—and they’re usually pretty reliable—I suspect that you had a relapse on Friday night after you cashed your paycheck. That’s why you didn’t show up on Saturday and didn’t call me all weekend.
We’ve been friends for a very long time. I cherish you and our friendship so much, David, and I cannot sit by and watch you disrespect and abuse yourself. I love you way too much for that. And I will not allow you to disrespect and abuse me. By continuing to drink and use drugs, that’s exactly what you’re doing to both of us.
When you stood me up on Saturday morning, I felt used, disrespected, scared for you, and very, very sad. I cannot tolerate this type of treatment, and so our friendship can continue only if you get yourself into a recovery program.
Until I see you ACTIVELY seeking help to overcome this problem, I will assume that you have no interest in quitting. And if you have no interest in quitting, then I can only assume that you have no interest in alleviating the tension, frustration and pure hell that your alcohol and drug use is causing to EVERYONE in your life.
I'm not going to see you any more until you get help. Also, I'm going to ask that you don't call me again until you get help. If you choose alcohol and drugs over treatment and recovery, you can't be around me. I have already been affected by your alcohol and drug problem, and my own welfare is my first priority.
Bottom line: if you are not in active recovery, I cannot and will not be in your life, in any way at all, ever again. I realize that you are going to do what you’re going to do, and I have no control over it, but I need to take care of myself first.
I am not doing this out of anger, because I am not angry at you.
I am not doing this out of hate, because I don’t hate you.
I am doing this out of love. I hope you understand that.
Be well and realize that anything is possible.
posted by Anonymous at 11/14/2006 10:20:00 AM
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