Email - One Last Shot

I don't know if you'll ever get this message, but I had to put it out there. I have had no one to talk to about this, so I am emailing you. You probably don't even remember that I set up this Hotmail account for you, but I don't care. I haven't heard from you, and this is the only thing that makes me feel close to you.

I love you. I love you so much. I have always loved you and I always will. I miss you terribly, and these past two weeks have been killing me. I've felt empty and desolate without you. I miss hearing your voice, miss seeing your face and holding your hand and kissing you. God, I miss that.

I don't know what I did to cause you to not show up at the train station that Saturday. I have no answers, and haven't heard from you, and it hurts so much not knowing what I did or didn't do, or what I could've done.

Did you regret that we made love? Or maybe you decided to get back together with your girlfriend. Or maybe you were out getting high. Or maybe you really just wanted some easy sex that night and I was the perfect person to get it from.

I really don't know. I wish you would just tell me what happened. I'm not even angry about it...just sad and confused. I would never yell at you or hold it against you--I'm not your girlfriend or your mother...I'm your lover, and you can tell me anything. Anything at all and I would accept it. I would never judge you, because I love you and I just want to know the truth.

If you regret what happened, just tell me and I will never bother you again. But let me state for the record that I don't have any regrets at all, because I believe that we belong together, and that what we did wasn't wrong. It was the universe pulling us together, as it always has. You have to know that's the truth, too! We have always been drawn back to each other, and I think it's more than just a coincidence. It's for a reason.

I am not ashamed of loving you. You are so precious to me and there are no words that could sufficiently describe how I feel for you.

Do you miss me? Do you think of me at all? Your silence hurts. I would give anything just to hear from you again, just to see you again and laugh together. I miss you so much. I haven't known what the hell to do with myself for the past two weeks. I feel completely lost, just wandering around and going through the motions of my life without any joy whatsoever.

I hope you're well. I love you.